The Golden Rule…it’s NOT just for Kids!

Self-centered people fail to think ahead and are only concerned with their comfort-level in the present.

I am repeatedly told I am different from everyone else and should stop expecting people to be like me. I am tired of that being used as an excuse by others to deny me what I need.

Let’s look at the Golden Rule for a minute: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. It is NOT about how you want people to treat you in the present moment. Let me explain:

“Do” this is present tense.

“Would have” this is future tense.

This answers the questions, “Why should I have to…?” And, “What about what I want?”

The Golden Rule instructs us to alleviate suffering for others and act in a way that avoids making suffering worse for them…in the present.

The Golden Rule promises us that, by doing so, we set ourselves up to have those others alleviate our suffering in the future.

Here is an example:

You refuse to celebrate birthdays; because, to do so triggers uncomfortable memories and feelings for you.

However, someone you care about does celebrate birthdays, is depressed, and has been told by their own toxic family members that no one cares whether they live or die.

The person you care about is suffering. You are NOT.

To wish them a “Happy Birthday” would be a super simple way to ease their suffering, letting them know someone DOES care and IS happy they were born. It would take minimal effort on your part to ease their suffering.

But, you argue it will make you uncomfortable in the moment to give them what they need. And, yes, it’s a need when it could make the difference between life and death to the person you care about. Your discomfort is in no way life or death for you.

So, you DO unto others now. Not because it will do YOU any good now; but, because, you would want them to give you a simple gesture to ease YOUR suffering, should you be suffering in the future. And, let me assure you, you WILL likely be suffering in the future just for the simple fact that life gets harder as you age.

The simple act of getting out of your comfort zone for others to ease their suffering in the present puts you in a position to receive reciprocal gestures of being comforted when you are suffering in the future.

When you care about others, you do more than what’s easy for YOU. You already know this; because, you do it all the time for money. Example:

You work a shit job. It’s uncomfortable to wake up early and give your time doing something you hate in order to help an employer you likely don’t even care about. You put yourself through discomfort to make an employer happy in the moment; so, he will ease your suffering of stressing over keeping a roof over your head, putting food on the table, and paying the bills with a paycheck in the near future and, perhaps, a pension in the distant future.

If you would do this much for someone you do NOT care for, why would you be averse to giving a tiny gesture to your suffering friend, whom you SAY you care about; especially, when they could be so grateful for this gesture that they would want to ease your suffering in the future?

Yeah, I’ve been told my standards are too high and it’s off-putting. Well, if everyone held themselves to this ‘Golden Rule Standard’, that we are ALL TAUGHT as CHILDREN, the world would be a better place with way less suffering!

But, most people in this world act as if the Golden Rule was only a rule FOR children and no longer applies once you become an adult.