Ignored by Every System Built to Protect Us

What Happened When I Asked for Help

By Celestia Quixs

The author, an elderly disabled woman, details her experience of enduring psychological and financial abuse from her supposed caregiver. Despite following protocols to seek help from various agencies, she faced silence and neglect, illustrating systemic failures that leave vulnerable individuals without support. Her documentation serves as a testament to these injustices.

They tell you to speak up. They tell you to document everything. They tell you to report abuse to the appropriate agencies, advocate for yourself, and reach out to watchdog media when all else fails.

I did all of that.

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Who I Am

I am an elderly disabled woman with life-threatening conditions:

• Fusarium colonization in my lungs (a rare and deadly fungal infection)
• Hereditary chronic pancreatitis
• Mobility limitations caused by tendon damage from a known antibiotic side effect
• Complex PTSD from a lifetime of Family Scapegoating Abuse

I am being psychologically abused by the man who insisted I move in with him to “make things right.”

He promised to care for me. Instead:

• He stores my food and supplies in high cabinets I can’t reach.
• When I ask for basic accessibility accommodations, he refuses, claiming there’s “no room.”
• Meanwhile, his own items are stored low.

We moved into a larger apartment together in June 2024. That was his chance to fix this. He chose not to.

When I push back, he reminds me: “I don’t want to change, and I’m not going to.”

But it’s not just about food storage. His abuse is layered and sustained:

• He fails to uphold the signed Roommate/Caregiver Agreement, disregarding its terms.
• He demonstrates weaponized incompetence, pretending not to know how to provide basic support.
• He is financially irresponsible, causing me to cover expenses I should not be liable for.
• He leans on me to make his life better—asking me to troubleshoot his tech, order his items, print his documents, etc.—all while contributing to my decline.
• On Thanksgiving Day 2023, he pulled a punch within a fraction of an inch from my face, in a threatening gesture that resulted in the police being called.

This is a form of coercive control—a deliberate withholding of access and support that fosters dependency and crushes autonomy.

It is also a direct violation of my right to reasonable accommodation under the ADA.

Law enforcement and APS are aware of all of it.

They do nothing.

And DV shelters have no housing or services for victims of psychological abuse. If you’re not bleeding or visibly bruised, you’re invisible.

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The Systems I Turned To

Adult Protective Services (APS)

• Reported the situation in February 2025.
• Outcome: They came. They saw. They left. They did nothing.

Administration for Community Living (ACL) and National Center on Elder Abuse (NCEA)

• Contact form was closed.
• Email returned bouncebacks.
• Phone calls and messages met with silence.
• NOTE: NCEA is one of the very systems I am calling out for failure. They are part of the problem, not the solution.

The Press

• ProPublica: Emails bounced. Contact forms redirected to SecureDrop, more suited to whistleblowers than disabled survivors.
• The 19th: Despite branding itself as inclusive, their focus is on gender politics and public figures. I don’t fit the brand.

They don’t care unless it’s already viral.
They don’t care unless someone famous is involved.
They don’t care unless you scream in a language they’ve already approved.

The Misdirection of “Support”

Another layer of betrayal comes from well-meaning but misapplied resources. I’ve been directed to the Caregiver Action Network, a site dedicated to supporting caregivers, not the people they’re supposed to be caring for. The site offers toolkits, help desks, and emotional support for those in the caregiving role.

But what if the caregiver is the abuser?

There is nothing on that site for people like me—those being harmed by the person with access, control, and assumed authority. Once again, the system assumes that caregivers are always benevolent, and that vulnerability equals voicelessness.

That’s the fatal blind spot.

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What They Didn’t Count On

I keep records.
I write.
I publish.
I do not go quietly.

This is not a one-time oversight. It’s systemic silencing:

• Agencies shrug off subtle abuse because it isn’t headline-worthy.
• Watchdogs dismiss victims who don’t already have a platform.
• Caregivers weaponize dependency to maintain control—and the law does little to intervene.

This is what happens when you follow all the right steps.
This is what the system does to someone like me.

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There Are No Resources

Let this stand as a record.

I reached out. I followed the steps. I documented everything.

And I was met with silence, misdirection, or automated rejection at every turn:

• The Administration for Community Living: Contact form closed. Voicemail ignored.
• The National Center on Elder Abuse: Email bounced. Phone silence. Their advice? Call 911.
• ProPublica: Tip address doesn’t exist. SecureDrop? A fortress meant for classified leaks—not disabled survivors of coercive control.
• The 19th: No contact for lived-experience stories unless you’re trending or tied to gender discourse.
• The Center for Disability Rights: No reachable individuals, only a general mailbox. No follow-through.
• The Caregiver Action Network: Built for caregivers, not for the people they’re supposed to care for. There is nothing for victims of abusive caregivers.

These are the agencies and watchdogs funded and empowered to help the vulnerable.

I am the vulnerable—and they shut the door in my face.

Let the record show:
I asked for help. I was ignored.
This system is not broken. It is functioning exactly as designed.

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So no, this post isn’t asking for help.

I already did that.

This post is proof that I asked—and that they refused to answer.

And I will not be erased.

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Celestia Quixs, an elderly disabled woman, describes systemic neglect after reporting psychological and financial abuse by her caregiver, who withholds accessibility accommodations and violates their Roommate/Caregiver Agreement, highlighting gaps in support for non-physical abuse victims.

She contacted multiple agencies like Adult Protective Services and the National Center on Elder Abuse in February 2025, but faced inaction, bounced emails, and closed contact forms, revealing institutional failures in addressing elder and disability abuse.

Her experience underscores a broader issue: a 2023 study in the Journal of Elder Abuse & Neglect found that 60% of elder abuse cases involve psychological abuse, yet only 5% of reported cases lead to intervention, often due to lack of visible evidence.