Is it Anxiety or Guilt?

Overcoming Anxiety and Guilt: Strategies for Healing

Explore how trauma and guilt fuel anxiety disorders and learn effective strategies for healing and personal responsibility.

A true anxiety disorder often comes as a symptom of trauma.

That being said, there are many very visible narcissistic people today who are claiming anxiety disorders. While this may be true in part, because of the childhood trauma that created some narcissistic people, it is time to look at another thing that brings on a fear response: Guilt.

For those who became narcissists out of trauma and, even more so for those who became narcissistic through parental over-indulgence, there is an underlying guilt when you KNOW you are treating others poorly and fear you will eventually be called out on your behavior.

Anxiety is a fear of something happening. Guilt is a message from your own mind that something YOU are doing needs to stop. Anxiety and guilt can both be overcome in much the same way:

Ask yourself, what is happening in your life right now that is bringing up these feelings?

For trauma-based anxiety, it may be hard to pinpoint something in the present. Sit with the feelings and try to find when in your life you first felt this way. This is likely the time period in which you were first traumatized.

For guilt, sit with the feelings and pinpoint what is is you did or said or thought about doing or saying before these feelings cropped up.

For each of the above exercises, this is your ‘what’.

For the trauma victim looking at your ‘what’, ask yourself if there is anything you can do about it. If yes, write down what that is and break the task down into small, manageable steps. Then, take action. If the answer is no, because it’s beyond your control, this is the time for acceptance and distraction. Engage in pleasant activities that will enable you to tolerate the distress and boost your well-being while you accept the things that are beyond your control. If the answer is no, because it is a fear of your inner child from a past experience you are afraid might repeat itself, remind yourself that you are no longer a helpless child but an adult who is capable of protecting themselves. Then, engage in some pleasant activities as mentioned in the previous example.

When looking at your ‘what’ born of guilt, processing it is similar to the example in the previous paragraph. It starts with taking personal responsibility. Because your behavior is the cause, you can do something about it. Write down what the thought or action was that you did or thought about doing and what action steps you will do to avoid repeating this in the future. Part of this includes owning up to your behavior to the person your behavior affected and sharing with them your plan of change. This can help keep you accountable. Because this behavior has likely become a habit, it will take time and repeated effort to change. You may slip into your old behavior patterns and feel guilt again; but, keep practicing. Eventually, the new behavior patterns will replace the old. In the meantime, any time the guilt crops up, engage in pleasant activities to soothe yourself from the guilt. These activities could include creative endeavors that boost your sense of accomplishment from within rather than seeking external validation.

Let us all heal from fear regardless of the source.