The Soul of the World

Merging with Source: A Journey Through Nightmare and Suffering

The author reflects on a terrifying nightmare of death that leads to a profound realization about suffering, both personal and that of Mother Earth. Inspired by The Alchemist, they contemplate the merging of their soul with the Source upon death, and their desire to alleviate Earth’s pain by contributing their energy and love.

I understand the terrifying nightmare I had the other night. I dreamed I was having the most horrible nightmare I’ve ever had and, during that dream, I died. The dream, then in reality, became my life after my death…I was stuck inside a nightmare more horrible than my waking life for all eternity.

I awakened with a start, in a cold sweat, filled with panic. For the very first time in my life, I feared death.

The meaning of the dream just came to me while listening to the story of The Alchemist. The story talks about The Soul of the World to which each of our souls will return. So, when I die, my soul returns to merge with Source—The Soul of the World.

I thought my suffering at the hands of those who have abused me throughout my life has been and is unbearably horrible. Compared to Mother Earth, I have only had a fraction of the relationships she has had with humanity. With the current 7.3 billion humans on the planet and the majority of these being disrespectful of her–taking her for granted, abusing her…raping her—her suffering is more than 100 times worse than what I have experienced.

Upon my death, I will merge with The Soul of the World and will know and feel, first hand, the horror of the suffering of Mother Earth; because, it will then be mine.

Knowing in my soul it is too late for humanity to care enough to change, I selfishly and desperately wish She will ‘fix’ it all soon, as in the lyrics of Tool’s Aenema. However, knowing what it feels like to suffer almost completely alone, for the love of my true Mother, I desire to join her, if it will lessen the pain of her suffering by adding my soul, energy, life-force to hers. Or perhaps by merging my love into hers, it will bring her some comfort.

That fear of death that resulted from that nightmare has now vanished. I feel the Spirit of my Keetoowah ancestors reached out and touched me through the message of my nightmare to let me know I am not, have never been, and never will be alone.