Calling all members of the Clique
The content delves into personal experiences and emotions, connecting them to Twenty One Pilots’ music. It touches on themes of mental health, familial trauma, and the impact on future generations. The writer seeks guidance on how to navigate the desire for a better life while feeling responsible for the well-being of their grandchildren.
I am an admirer of Twenty One Pilots as musical artists. I have been unable to become fanatical about going down the Dema rabbit hole; because, what I see on the surface of that story hits too close to home. For me, it’s about more than depression and suicidality as an individual who suffers from mental health issues. It is about generational abuse and a narcissistic family of origin dynamic that engulfed the future of my own nuclear family.
The lyric from Nico and the Niners, “We’ll win but not everyone will get out,” is hitting hard this morning. I’m thinking of my grandchildren. I am the only one, aside from those who have passed away, who has escaped. I’m moving on to be successful and happy in my life. However, the life worth living I keep imagining includes my grandchildren. But…will they get out?
There are only two Banditos in my life. And, they both say I must completely let go, including accepting my grandchildren as lost, in order to move on and be truly happy. How does a Grandma do that? How does anyone abandon the future relationship of those whom you never abandoned and who never chose No Contact from you? How does one do that without feeling like a complete asshole?
Clancy is dead. I legally changed my name in an attempt to put who I was, as a member of that destructive family, to rest. Unfortunately, his ghost will not rest as long as innocent children are still behind the walls of Dema.
What do I do? There have already been four adult males, with a common denominator of having been involved with a female in my family, who have killed themselves in my lifetime. I want there to be no more. More specifically, I am scared to death there will be more and some of my 6 grandchildren will be among them. None of the aforementioned men were blood related; so, maybe that’s some sort of morbid silver-lining?
So, I move on. I leave innocents behind; because, Grandparents have no rights? Again, I ask, “What do I do?”
Sufferers of narcissistic abuse know full well this is a hidden form of abuse that is unable to be prosecuted. So, I put this question out to young people in their late teens and early twenties who are unfortunate enough to be in or have recently escaped a narcissistic family dynamic, “What would you want, or would you have wanted, your grandma to do?”
It was suggested I end this article with a note of encouragement or hope for overcoming the obstacles written about in this essay in order to uplift the tone. It’s extremely difficult to be encouraging to others when one feels hopeless. The only thing I can possibly say to other grandparents going through a similar situation is, focus on your own healing in order to be an example to your grandchildren’s future selves that healing can occur. The only thing I can possibly say to grandchildren who are or have been in a similar situation is, no matter what the narrative you’ve been told and grew up believing, your alienated grandparents never left you, they never forgot you, and they never stopped loving you.
I will conclude with a lyric from Neon Gravestones:
“Find your grandparents or someone of age
Pay some respects for the path that they paved
To life they were dedicated
Now, that should be celebrated!”
Unconventional Resources (because we all know about the conventional ones):
I have used all of the resources listed below. They continue to be helpful to me on my healing journey.
Pay What You Can Virtual Peer Support
Pay What You Can Peer Support is a non-profit organization born out of a desire to have low barrier mental support available to whomever needs it. PWYCPS offers online, peer support groups that span a broad variety of topics, from specific diagnoses to more general issues that people often struggle with. Humans crave connection and that is getting harder to find. Pay What You Can Peer Support connects you with others who can relate, from the comfort of your home.
https://www.paywhatyoucanpeersupport.com
Self Authoring Suite
The Self-Authoring Suite is a series of online writing programs that collectively help you explore your past, present and future.
People who spend time writing carefully about themselves become happier, less anxious and depressed and physically healthier. They become more productive, persistent and engaged in life. This is because thinking about where you came from, who you are and where you are going helps you chart a simpler and more rewarding path through life.
Free Online Information
The Crappy Childhood Fairy
If you think you have Childhood PTSD, explore these free resources to understand the symptoms and start feeling better
Read more at: Free Tools
Doc Snipes
Tips for addiction recovery, depression and anxiety relief, healing from trauma and improving relationships. #codependency #innerchild #trauma Dr. Snipes has her PhD in counseling and has been licensed since 2002.
AllCEUs counselor education uses these videos to provide mental health training for counselors and social workers
Unlimited, on-demand CEUs are available at https://AllCEUs.com for LPCs, LMHCs, LMFTs, LCSWs, CRCs, LADCs and online training for addiction counselor certification. Additionally our unlimited access package now also includes the LIVE PREMIER each Wednesday counts in most states toward 🙋 live, interactive CEUs.
Topics include mental health awareness, depression, anxiety, attachment, addiction, cognitive behavioral therapy and more to provide resources for recovery, treatment and CEUs.
NOTE: VIDEOS are for educational purposes only and are NOT a replacement for treatment from a licensed professional.
https://www.youtube.com/@DocSnipes
Use Your Damn Skills
Chasing growth, humor, and grace with Dr. Glenn Doyle.
Self-help Apps
DBT Coach : Guided Therapy
This is the most comprehensive app for Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that exists today with easy-to-follow visual tools.
Learn and practice DBT skills using video lessons and fun animations which help you to remember skills longer. Features over 100 videos and 200+ animations. You can also take notes on these lessons for future use.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=co.swasth.dbtcoach&pcampaignid=web_share
Neurocycle
Eliminate stress, anxiety, depression and toxic thinking with the first ever scientifically-tested brain detox app!
NeuroCycle uses Dr. Leaf’s scientifically researched and revolutionary 5 Step Process to help you take back control over your thoughts and your life.
• Just 5 simple steps
• 15-45 minutes each day for 63 days
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.switch_android&pcampaignid=web_share
Discover more from Celestia Quixs™
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.